Saturday, July 31, 2004
whee!!!!! really lOtS aNd LoTs of thanks to Jolyne (the fabulously wonderful sister I got to know much better recently), Edna (a very fun going and wonderfully cute sister I have in Christ), Ningz (another wonderfully sweet sister that Im getting closer to too), Amy (a sweet little girl...not really little, who really cares alot!), Yae (a wonderful leader and sister that cares tremendously) and Huey (another fun going sister that takes effort to care)...all of you have shocked me with the gifts! especially the PINK shirt! haha...shock as in a very, VERY nice way...
been wanting to get a pink collar shirt ever since dunno when, together with Russ and Kel but always no chance. Russ got it yesterday and I was shock to get it today! thanks once again, peeps!
and thanks to my cell group for singing the Happy B'dae Song to me, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, haha...and Daune for saying such a wonderful prayer...
thanks to everyone who remembered my b'dae and those who put in efforts to wish me and to get me gifts...no worries for those who didnt give me any gifts....its the thought that counts! :P
Tomorrow is August liaoz...lets see who are the Aug babies! where's my book...? hmmm....
Huey's b'dae is in Aug! must go get prepared liaoz!
and GOSH!!!!!! SO MANY PEEPS B'DAE IN NOV AND DEC!!!! festive season somemore!!!! die...gonna go broke.... *sob sob*
GOODNESS TO GRACIOUS!!!! 4 in Oct, 6 in Nov and 5 in Dec!!!! im really gonna go BROKE!!!! aaarrrggghhhh!!!! *sob sob sob*
haha.....once again, thanks all!
the facts of life....
- 7/31/2004 11:13:00 PM
its mine b'day yesterday!!!!!!!! bwahahaha!!!!!! so should have blogged yesterday right? but didnt...haha....cause when I reached home, was 12 plus liaoz....*yawns*
now, wont blog much lah....cause gonna go give tuition soon...
firstly, i did Guard Duty on 29 July...people were like "What the hell you doing?!?! Next day b'dae still here?!?!" True, I spent 8 hours of the sPeCiAl dAy doing Guard Duty in camp. Haha. But my fellow NSmen who did duty with me were very nice. They knew it was my b'dae thanks to Kenneth Soo, fellow COPA. coz he personally brought down a b'dae card for me by the CO Office. so like, duh, everyone knows. Then my DOS suggested buying Pizza. I was like "nononono, dont waste money...". Then from 7pm till 10 plus pm, I was in CO's Office doing work. Then my fren told me to take a break, so I did...guess what? when I entered the Duty Room, there WAS pizza...goodness....sHocKinG....lOlx....but thx peeps :P
Then they let me off at 7.30am, and I bumped into my CO on my way back. He was sUrpRiSed at why Im leaving...(though I old him I was on b'dae off on fri) and asked me where Im going. I said it and he went "Oh yar, your b'dae!" then he shook my hands tRemEndOuslY...was SO paiseh...haha....then as I was leaving, saw SAJC bus going in for Temasek Seminar.
Then I went back to SJI. Saw Ms Richards, J Liew, Ms Thor, Ms Periasamy, Mr Lim MC and Ms Lee PS. Tan Sia Hui took MC....the nerve to do so when fabulicious JS is back...haha...
Talked the most to Ms Richards, of course, and gossiped about Russ and Kel...haha...then went to her Sec 1 class to sit in...aiyoh....her class so ultra pervertic...haha! they asked me "Got gf?" I said no. Then they asked "Got bf?" Ms Richards and I rolled our eyes. I said no. Then they said "If you want a bf, come look for us kz?" I was like "AIYOH!!!" haha....then Ms Richards said "Sec 1s only and so pevertic..."
J Liew was walking around Staff Room, stealing food from the containers of other teachers....haha....Thor was telling me how shock and sad she was with my results, im a good student...blar blar...as she told me the last time I went back...haha...
then I went home for a nap, woke up, ate the birthday mian xian.
then went out with a special friend to eat at Swensens. When we entered, the song Happy Birthday was played and I was like "WOW! cannot be they know my b'dae right?" haha...naah, it was for a group of girls. then we sat and ate baked rice. ordered a Merri-Mint Sundae and a free b'dae sundae. when the sundaes came, the b'dae song was played...so embarrassing. idiotic waitress still held the b'dae sundae high and lighted it....then when the song ended, everyone in the restaurant clapped. that person was SO amused. then went over to that person's house to look at the marine tanks. very nice...and that person advised me to buy ammonia and nitrate/nitrite tests....gonna buy tmr...btw, that person gave me a nice starfish for my b'dae...so nice...thankies! *hugs*
then I go meet Daune and chatted...
so came home....
end of Friday....
kinda boring b'dae...
but its ok...
im now 19....
aiyoh, 1 more year n no looking back....
;P
the facts of life....
- 7/31/2004 10:22:00 AM
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
aiyoh......as ive decided to visit SJI on Friday coz of my birthday off, Ms Richards told me they have Cross Country!!!!
aargh! so badluck.....
but then, 15 seconds ago, she said cross country is at 2pm...heng....
haha...this shows must ask properly before jumping to conclusions...haha
anyway, just wanna visit the good old bunch of teachers. realise that whenever i leave a school, teachers will leave that school in the same yr or soon....haiz
in Pri Sch, many teachers ive known since young left, including Ms Koh and Ms Nathan...very sad hor? then in Sec Sch, Roger left, Clement Fernandez, Joleen Chang, Joyce Seah and quite a few others. Joyce left when we left and Joleen the following year. Then in JC, Mr Wee left and Mr Homer G. left on the year we left, and heard He Laoshi!!!!, haha, and Mr Lian leaving too...oh no!!!!!!! am i bad luck or what? haha....sigh
and they were really good teachers, most of them anyway...
well, glad my FAV of the FAV teachers are still in SJI. Ms "Aiyoh, you all ehz....A51!" Richards and Mrs "Quick, press press calculator" (with arms akimbo) Chern. haha...they were absolutely funny....we, as in A51, um, actually me, Russ and Kel, dunno about the rest, love them TO THE CORE!!!! haha....they were really the best. you can talk to them about practically EVERYTHING in the mind of a Sec student...and they will chat with you, comfort you and share with you.
still remember when I was in Sec 4, I cried cause my Vice President of the CCA backstabbed me and my fellow teammates, especially me. In the end, he got a DISTINCTION for CCA while I got a MERIT. I was so sad! All our team's efforts went to waste cause he told one of the teachers he did everything! and for most of them, he wasnt even in any of the discussions! I was so peeved with that teacher (didnt talk to her even after I left for 1 year) and looked for the other teacher instead. She, however, said, "Joseph, I know you put in lots of efforts and did us proud. I'm proud of you too cause you are my A1 and fav history student! but you cant deny *** did more than you, and he definitely did those things!" I was so angry! I walked back to class, controlling my tears. I took my seat and my face was red. No one noticed except for my partner, Chun Ting. He was shocked. Richards was teaching in class at that time btw...then I sobbed a little and ran out of class to the toilet, crying. The class was quiet and everyone stared at me. I locked myself in the cubicle and thought of how I was so humiliated and never wanna be good again (similar huh?). Kelvin then came looking for me and finally brought me back to class. When I returned, the class was still talking (trying to pretend) but eyes were stuck on me. Everyone WAS shocked. At the end of school, Richards and Chern (of coz Richards told her) came and talk to me with Kel and Russ (was Nic there?) and they comforted me. they wanted to fight the distinction for me but I said nvm cause I looked for them twice already. Nic says (yar, he was there) that I should fight and not give up like that! especially since they all could see all the efforts ive put in, bringing work to class, running around school even at 6 plus when all Clubs have long ended, everyday meeting my mates for meetings...etc. All of them knew. I was touched that they did for it brought me the greatest comfort I ever had. So in the end, I didnt get the DISTINCTION Cert, and didnt get the Best Leader award ($150, and it wasnt such a name but nvm). Everyone in the hall looked at me when my name was not read out when it came to my class yet ***'s name was read out. his class was the one behind me. People came to ask, "Why Vice got it yet Prez didnt?" I dunno what to say. But for those whom ive explained, they know it was a bluff thing cause they know the efforts ive put in.
thanks people for trusting in me and loving me always.
well, the point in this story, is to bring out how GREAT those 2 teachers were! absolutely fantasic! even the most positive word in English cant describe them!
anyway, Ningz, sorry, I was just stating some examples...I know you study hard :P so dont be disappointed!
anyway...gotta go. must go online read Amazing Race (im not watching) and sleep early for im doing guard duty tmr....*yawns*
bye!
the facts of life....
- 7/28/2004 09:25:00 PM
Monday, July 26, 2004
GRIM
yar yar...I know the world is grim...and I am, or should I say I was at the grimest of my grim. things don't get settled so fast, but right now, I am very, VERY determined of climbing out that slick, slippery, algae-covered well and out into sunlight...yar...with God's help. What made me FINALLY realised that?
haha...it was things one person said, and although I may or had heard it for many a times since I have sunked into darkness, the things said were in a sense, more comforting, more picking yet understandably useful knowledge to me. it was something I wanted to do and thought I was doing for the past 3 weeks, but after that person said it, I realised I wasn't putting in my best efforts to do so...and the method that person had was more explicit and detailed and...diplomatic.
and something else someone else said also knocked me awake........have I been a tool for the Satan to used? I felt that I could become or have already been used as a tool by that "Guy Below"...and I was so totally scared...why did he picked me to do his dirty work (if I was really used as his tool the past 3 weeks)? it made me realise I am still very vulnerable, and whatever I thought about me closer to God, might not have been true.....was blindsided but no more (I hope & pray) and now, I will really try very, VERY hard to depend on God, do what that 1st person tells me to and not let Satan use me...evil Satan....how dare you...haha
anyway, amidst darkness, I have found some nice sunshine!!! hehe...
EDPYY!!!!!! haha, she finally got a blog! must have been influenced by me and Eunice.....aiyoh, was spending nearly 1 hour last evening, explaining to her how her blog's template and html works....she was like "Where?", "I don't see leh..." ...etc....Finally, I decided to log in for her and help her to her html. hard to explain to her when I don't even know how her html format looks like....so now, she has a blog with links! haha....must blog often!
and glad to know people's studying hard for their exams...not really like me, still slightly slacking...edpyy went to Eunice's house to study, Weiyan, as usual, got up early in the morning and went to be tutored by Xiaoling and Mag went out with her friend to study together, though when I called her, she was reading a magazine...Mag reading mag....haha.....
continue to work hard!
then the other thing is...I'm starting a marine tank!!!! bwahahaha...yar...I bought the marine salt (not table salt) today and mixed it....gotta take at least a week for it to be settled before I start buying my stock...can't wait...
have always been interested in marine fishes...well, I'm actually in keeping all sorta creatures...haha...
gonna buy Clownfish, Blue Regal Tangs, Lionfish, Porcupine Fish, probably a Puffer or a Boxfish too, Pipefishes, Angels, Wrasse, this nice sucking-sand-fish I saw, a nice Shrimp, a Sea Slug, Sea Anemone and a Living Rock....hmmm....seems to be too much for my tank...haha....
will really be tough handling a marine aquaria cause it takes lots of efforts. cannot too high salinity, cannot too high or too low ammonia level, cannot this cannot that...haha...but got interest, and with my LOVE, I'm sure my fishes will survive the ordeal....and yar, praying I won't get poisoned by the Lionfish and Porcupine Fish...haha
anyway, on the 8th of August, BPGC got Night Tour! Most probably gonna bring Kelvin and Russell along...and before that, mabbe we joining a Ice Cream Eating Competition! haha...hope we win...and hope we won't puke and faint....so embarrassing if we do and the news tape everything...aiyoh.........
well, gotta go....
hope happy days are here to stay....
mabbe time's not running out yet :P
the facts of life....
- 7/26/2004 09:03:00 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2004
feel like scolding this word the entire day...had to restrain myself from saying it....
Russ & Kel, yes yes, u 2 know EVERYTHING...been scolding that word for 1 week plus...ruined that WHOLE period of sustaination where I didnt scold any bad words...so proud... :P
but...argh......cant say it here....
thinking alone is bad enough...bad...
if I really wanted to blame, ill push the blame to the world and everybody else, 'cept for those I truly love and love me, and then probably just jump off the highest building in S'pore....oh yes, I definitely would.......
but I wouldn't.....................argh! torturing myself....
should just pack up my stuff, go AWOL, travel the entire world on foot, leave all these mess behind and heck care about everything and everyone I know, and just settle down somewhere peaceful and nice and lonely....
if only....
realise I dunno myself more and more, and those whom I thought I knew...less too...dunno how to face everyone....espcially those I love and those I really detest.....
I know time is running out for me....but when? I can't wait for that day to come....
the facts of life....
- 7/22/2004 09:15:00 PM
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
An ultra nice story...some of you may have heard it before or received the email from me, but for those whom I don't have email or those who read my blog yet I dunno who you are, this will be useful to you, especially if you are a new Christian or one who has meet with difficulties and trials....like me........I need it...time is running short......
tHe lOrd'S bAsEbAll gAme...(with some changes made by Yours truly :P)
Joseph and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing against Satan's team. Satan was snarling right across the field..*snarl growl*
The Lord's team was at bat, whatever that means, and the score was at zero to zero..."Ooh...come on holy mollies! You can all do it!" the Lord was shouting...It was at the bottom of the 9th inning with 2 outs. They continued to watch as the Lord sent "Love" onto the plate.
Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single...coz...
"There you have it my boy...LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!" the Lord commented.
"Oi! You and Your nonsense there! Sssshutt upppsss!" Satan hissed....
"Oh you sore loser!" Lord laughed heartily...who then tripped over His cloak and fell...Joseph tried hard not to laugh...while Satan DID laugh...
The next up was "Faith"...the Lord clambered up just in time to see Faith hit a single as well, cause Faith works with Love...the Lord jumped up and went "Yaaahhoooooo!" and beat His fists up in the air...when He realised everyone is looking at Him, He turned red and shrugs..."Um...yeah. Good shot there Faith!"
Satan then went, "Bah...a bloody lucky shot..."
Next up was "Wisdom".
"Halleluya! Halleluya! Halleluya~Halleluuuuuuuuyaaaaa!" went God's choir of Angels.
"Oi! Shut up there at the back row!" went Satan and threw a can of Coke...
*Plonk!* "Oohh..." went the Angels as one of their buddies fainted.
"Ahh...send him or her or whatever to Heaven General Hospital and get the wound stitched up...as for you..." stares the Lord at Satan, "LOSER...slither for 5 minutes..."
Satan minions threw the first pitch. Wisdom let it pass. Ball one.
"Haha...LOSER!!!!" Satan screamed.
"Oh my goodness...we are gonna lose!" the Angels exclaim...and cried..."Boohoohoo!"
"Oh shut up...dunno why I created you all for...all you all know is to sing, cry, sing, cry...one more and I'm turning you all into down pillows! Trust Me, I have my Way..." the Lord bellowed. Satan trembled then...
"Ahh...it's nothing...hush hush! Watch the game..." Satan commented.
2 more pitches and yet Wisdom let it pass. Wisdom walked away, cause he never swings at what Satan throws.
The Lord finally sent out..."Grace".
Joseph asked, "Lord, You sure You don't wanna send out someone else?", hoping to get the answer he wants.
The Lord replied, "Yes Joseph. I want Grace."
"Oh..." Joseph remarked, clearly disappointed with what God has chosen. He felt detached and was thinking of all the things he would say and blame God with if they lose...
Satan laughed and did a sissy little dance...the Lord snorted.
Satan minions threw the ball...
Grace whacked harder than anyone would have ever done...
Satan minions was worried and tried to catch it...but ah ha...the ball went right through his glove, hit his head and flew over the rainbow...for a home run.
"Halleluya!" the Angels choused.
The Lord's team won!
"Joseph, are you happy with the end result?" the Lord asked.
Joseph nodded his head, and hung his head in shame.
"Don't be ashamed. Look at me. Do you know why Love, Faith and Wisdom could get on base yet not win?" he Lord questioned.
Joseph shook his head.
The Lord explained, "If your Love, Faith and Wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home. 'For by Grace are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast."
Psalm 84:11, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly."
Lessons learnt?
* Never depend on yourself
* God's answers may not be what you like in the beginning, but the end result is good
* God is the only one you can depend on, all the rest are bulls
* Let God guide you
* The Lord won't hurt you, He rather Himself take the fall than you (Lord falling over His cloak - Jesus death for us)
* In the end, God will win, even though in between you meet with failures...
I really tried, to heck care about worldly affairs and feelings...I can't! I BLOODY CAN'T! It's so tough to be me, ME! Yet no one knows! Everyone just think that I'm bad, what I do is bad...
God please...brainwash me!!!!! I dun wanna care about this selfish, ignorant and BLOODY IRRITATING world anymore! I need You! I know what You give me now may not be what I like, so give me patience and love to wait for the end! God...please help me to help myself...help me to forget about the world and think only of you...
This world is too much for me...I can't live in it anymore...I'm just so tired....
Time is running out....
the facts of life....
- 7/21/2004 08:43:00 PM
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
~ hurt in your heart isn't like hurt in the physical self...it is a hundred fold, thousand fold worse...do you get what I mean? ~
Mary Bicker
um....what book was it again Russell? Nice quote...heard it from him a few days back...
God, so many things happened in just June and July...dunno how to take it...haha, dunno if my "Operation Focus" worked or not...hope so....dun wanna live a lie where I think I'm closer to God and in the end, realise I'm not...
It's so hard to be a Christian...it's so hard to be me. No one really knows me...so does that mean I'm fake? haha...
As I said, time is running short. Tomorrow could be mine, or yours, or his last day, so we gotta make full use of it :P
haha...dunno why, whenever I say things like that, I can hear my heart go *crumble*...haha, true true, I'm very emotional...
Finally believe God is the only one I need after months of twists and turns....finally...I can rest.
But when will God take me back? I hope it is soon....
Don't think I can carry on my life like this anymore...can't pretend nothing has ever happened and use a positive mind and smile to carry on my days...my brain cells and life is ebbing away slowly... .. .. .. . .
Feel like leaving, leaving my house, leaving my church, leaving the people around me, and just go somewhere quiet and peaceful...tour the world on my own....and fix back my broken mind and heart and soul...God will do the fixing. I'll just wait...haha
God, can I leave now?
Part of Your World - Little Mermaid
Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl (boy)
The girl (boy) who has everything
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you'd think
Sure
She's (He's) got everything
I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs
I got twenty
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see them dancing
Walking around on those
What do you call them?
Oh, feet
Flipping your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumping, dancing
Strolling along down a
What's that word again?
Street
Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wandering free
Wish I could be
Part of that world
What would I give
If I could live
Outta these waters?
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm on the sand?
Betcha on land
They understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters (sons)
Bright young women (men)
Sick of swimming
Ready to stand
And I'm ready to know what the people know
Ask them my questions and get some answers
What's a fire and why does it
What's the word?
Burn?
When's it my turn
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of your world
Why when your parents are Christians and you are one, you can't do so many things? Why don't I have the freedom to choose, to be myself, to do what I want and most importantly, to love? Why do you always have to be THAT someone others expect you to be? When you change slightly, they hate you. Yet when you have slight expectations of others, they say you are wrong and shouldn't be like that! Why must I always be the one getting hurt? I followed the rules and instructions, but all I got was more and more disappointments and sadness...why? Why? Why? WHY?!?!
Time IS running out... .. .. . .
Please...take me away... .. .. . .
the facts of life....
- 7/20/2004 09:57:00 PM
Monday, July 19, 2004
Realise I still can't hide my feelings, cant focus well yet when that issue is placed b4 me...
I can focus better than many weeks ago liaoz, but still not good enough, there's still a lingering sort of uneasiness, unhappiness inside...maybe more time is needed, much more time needed to heal this wound than I thought it will take...or maybe I should seriously, just leave...
People sometimes say I have lots of high expectations for my friends, I think otherwise. People who knows me well will think otherwise too...other than that, people who knows me well and know how I have been hurt, will think that I give myself too high an expectations...
Kelvin and Russell told me not to give up just over one or a few incidents...there are more people out there who deserves my 101% friendship....but I dunno, I dont want to give all out already...it hurts...
Please people, tell me what to do....I think I can focus, but I also cannot shrug off the tingling sense in me...I can't...it hurts and it bothers me, and its not good cause I can't focus on God. But settling is useless if that issue doesnt want to settle it itself.....so...
anyway, really happy to see Daune's and Ning's happy face when I gave them their presents...you see, friends, no matter what you give them, they know its from the deepest of your heart, and the happiness they show is true....though Ningz seems not to like her present...haha...
its faces like this I wanna this....cause I dunno for how much longer I can see them....haha, talking like someone who is going to die soon right? haha.....but seriously, life's too short to take note of bad things....but that tingling feeling....haiz
I'll treasure all those worth treasuring around me....I dunno how tomorrow may be, but God holds tomorrow, so Im gonna treasure all those worth my love around me.... :P
You're my strength when I am weak
You're the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking you as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all
Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again, I'll bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down, You pick me up
When I am dry, You fill my cup
You are my all in all
~ Lord, please dont let me cry over such issues...let me be strong. Let me know that being dependent on You is all I ever need and You will provide me with all the strength I can to get pass this issue. Dear Lord, please bless me, let me focus on You. No matter how hard life presents itself to be, please guide me, love me and mould me into someone worth working for You. God, I need Your guidance now...and thank you Lord, for giving me people whom I could talk to...thank you Lord. I dunno tomorrow, but I know You hold tomorrow.... ~
~ Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside
And learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all ~
the facts of life....
- 7/19/2004 11:05:00 AM
Thursday, July 15, 2004
hOoRaY tO tHis mOntH's biRtHdaY kiDdO's!!!!!
on 18th July is ningz b'dae! and on 22th July is dau-ne-ne's b'dae!
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to Them Two
Happy Birthday to You
May God continue to bless them with lots of gifts, so that they can continue to work for Him! For Daune, speech of wisdom, so that he can say more wonderful things during service, and use his mouth to bring more people into God's family. and bless him with patience and wisdom to do so many of God's work!
For ningz, wisdom to do well in her upcoming O levels, and more blessings on her singing and playing! can see her serving in guitar or piano sometimes. hope God has bigger plans for her!
well, July is a wonderful day, thats why got wonderful me born in this month! hahaha...
anyway, really miss my church family members, seeing them this saturday....
God has really given me lots of things...but sometimes dunno why i still dont treasure the people or things around me....
this is one new prayer to offer up to God, let Him help me to focus on Him and thru Him, learn to love and treasure all that is around me...
people out there can pray for me too!
thank you and lots of love from me!!!!!!!!
the facts of life....
- 7/15/2004 04:33:00 PM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
My Jesus, my Saviour
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty loveMy comfort, my shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let every breath, All that I am
Never cease to worship You
Shout to the Lord
All the earth let us sing
Power and majesty
Praise to the king
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name
I sing for joy at the works of Your hands
Forever I'll love You forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You
Truly...Jesus sacrificed all so that we can be rightfully God's kids....so what should we do to reciprocate His great love? that's right, live a life fruitful to Him and worship Him with all we are worth....
anyway....Eunice girl...I surely help you with your blog template....what's a wOndErfUllY mAgniFicEnt gRouP lEaDeR for?!?! haha....naah...just tell me what u want and when u want it....try to squeeze u into my schedule.....
anyway...i seemed to be confirmed moving to CO's Office....this week, standby for that stOooOoOpid kenneth sOo, who got lOooOong MC.....and CO says want me OT....*sOb soB*...so im afraid i may be late, or not even turn up, for friday's practice....saturday is ok...got LWE....hehehe....but ok lah....Ronson Neo, the COPA and ACC, is teaching me stuff....
oh yar....for people who didnt see me in church on Sunday 110704, i was at Russell's and Kelvin's church....their kids are sOoOo cute....haha....especially Russell's ones....
oh yar...they are P5 teachers in the church, btw...
went to their church to be a lab rat...cause the kids doing a project on "frens of other religions"....and heng heng, I told Russ and Kel I'm ok about it, so they invited me to their church! felt so extra in Russ's class coz the kids asked me NOTHING. at least Kel's class asked me some questions...but poor Kel kept shouting at them....haha....
didnt see any pretty girls there.....hmm....
they wanna intro me to a girl called *oops*....forgot the name, whom they say resembles me ALOT character-wise...and we surely very "pei" with one another......too bad she didnt come...haha...yar right....
anyway, i think their church is like any other church, except they are Catholics....but seriously...so what? i dont understand why people, Christians, Catholics or others are always so against one another in the same family....i think it is a very bad testimonial to other people around us and God. I mean, I believe we are all in the same family. so, they do pray to Mary.....but I sincerely believe, as long as someone believes that Jesus Christ died to save the world, and accepts Christ as his/her only Saviour, then he is saved.....so what if we are from different denominations? haiz.....dunno lahz.....ok, we may think that its not good, not right....but how do we know its what God wants? yes, we know what God wants, people to believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to God, so if people accepts that, all is solved....yar
anyway, talked to many of them, and from the things they say about their lives and God, they are really good testimonials of God, and they really believe and accept Christ is their Saviour....and I was saying..."waah...some of u all even better than many Christians out there...." while Kel told his class "Christians are so much more pious than Catholics, they know the bible, we dont even know a little!" haha.....that shows that many of God's children are still humble...glory be to God's kingdom!
I hope elsewhere in this world, people or groups who call themselves children of God will stop fighting one another.....
anyway, Russ coming to my house to stay over next friday....bringing him to church for my practice then...hehehe
after going to their church, when to Mac w Russell and I bought a "The Dog" Miniature Schnauzer!!!! so darn cute!!!! haha....hanging on my bag now.....
well, cant keep using com while working....so im signing off....
last thing, for people who shares the same thoughts as me above, pray for God's children kz? :P
and cya all next Saturday BPGC....i know many people miss me.....right Eunice, Ningz, Daune...etc? haha.....i know im thick skin...but just stating facts!!!
:P
the facts of life....
- 7/13/2004 02:10:00 PM
Sunday, July 11, 2004
When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heartI'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the Heart of Worship
And it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You, Jesus
A wonderful yet simple song......though it is simple, it is something so, SO hard to achieve....coz we are constantly surrounded by things, whether for good or bad, that will somehow turn us away from our Almighty Father if we are not alert.
God doesn't want that........I don't want to give bad service to Him too....
Thanks to Ningz who prompted this powerfully meaningful song to me.....cause it is and was never really in my favourite song list.....but you cannot deny that whenever we sing this song, it will touch many a hearts and bring them back to Jesus, the only one who will sacrifice His life for the whole world....
However, I dont want it to be just a moment. only when singing that song than feel it....this kinda things should be forever......when you leave the service and go about your daily life, this song should be inside your heart and you should live your life for God.....
That is what God wants.....
glad many people in BPGC does that......
:P
Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do.........we do to ourselves......~ Kelvin Seet - taken from The 5 People You Meet in Heaven ~
the facts of life....
- 7/11/2004 08:53:00 AM
Thursday, July 08, 2004
today short blog....very very tired...haha
after reading Eunice's blog...i realised how much i missed school....
so fun! her school got this "be urself day" where u can wear ur home clothes!!!! but u gotta pay $2....haha...there's a catch of course!!!
its really very fun....and frens of Eunice....she looks nice in a skirt ok....
i really miss my school days...especially those in SJI....our class was the ULTIMATE BEST and BEST u can find! so united! yar....we may have our clicks but still, when we get together, we REALLY GET TOGETHER!!!!! haha.......
dunno why, but people from all walks of life can stick together like bees attracted to honey!
i think God's church should be so too, accepting people for who they are and sticking together...that is what God wants.....
right?!
the facts of life....
- 7/08/2004 08:59:00 PM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
~ even if I lost my way, looking at the North Star, I won't feel lonely... ~
yong wo de wan an pei ni chi zao can
ji de ba xiang nian cun jing pu man
wo wang zhe man tian xing zai shan
ting niu lang dui zhi nu suo yao yong ganbie pa wo men zai di qiu de liang duan
kan wo de wen hou qi zhe mo tan
fei yong guang su fei dao ni mian qian
yao ni neng kan dao shi zi xing you bei ji xing zuo pan
shao le wo de shou bei dang zhen tou ni xi bu xi guan
ni de wang yuan jing wang bu dao wo bei ban qiu de gu dan
tai ping yang de chao shui geng zhe di qiu lai hui xuan zhuan
wo hui nai xing di deng sui shi huan ying ni kao an
shao le wo de huai bao dang nuan lu ni xi bu xi guan
E gei ni zhao pian kan bu dao wo bei ban qiu de gu dan
shi jie zai da liang ke zhen xing jiu neng hu xiang qu nuan
xiang nian bu hui tou lan
wo de meng tong tong gei ni bao guan
bad day today.....felt so giddy, sleepy and vomitty....haha.....
didnt eat lunch till 3 plus....cause really no appetite lah.....
anyway, been spending wonderful time with God. start with a prayer, asking Him to help me focus on Him, not only during the time im spending with Him, but during everyday of my life. then i play the guitar in the bass method and sing to a few songs. halfway or at the end of that, ill pray again. thanking Him for giving me time to sing and worship Him. then ill read the bible, continuing from where i left off. then ill read a few verses from "My Identity In Christ"....not just from the card, but also flipping to the Bible and reading from it....then ill end off with a prayer, thanking Him for His words and praying about how i can use them in my life....
really glad to pick out such a time with God. even if its late in the night like 2 plus am and ive not done it, i told myself, "God isnt sleeping yet! you should do it!" in a way, i forced myself to do so...haha....but slowly, i feel myself, in midst of all the tiredness and sleepiness, i still feel awake. got the urge to want to sing more and read more. and i felt joyful inside, at peace too....and after all that, i realise i cant sleep liaoz....haha....will keep thinking of the songs ive sang and the verses i read...until i finally fall asleep....
dunno if God really touched me with His words, or that im really thankful for everything, but no matter what it is, im still thankful to Him for giving me this chance and time to spend with Him alone.....
okok....gonna go sing Ocean's songs....then spend time with God again!
God bless you all to have a fun filled week!
the facts of life....
- 7/07/2004 07:23:00 PM
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
~ liStEniNg tO oCeAn's aLbuM.... ~
Sunday...
i went out with my church worship team...didnt want to go at first...coz of my decision of being isolated without seeing certain things....(please refer to below)......but God has His own ways....i went in the end....and a good thing too, cause we were sharing about the other team and how they have been for the past 3 months...
i said that Simin's and Xiaoling's team have really improved. From talking to them on a daily basis or something like that, their spiritual growth has shot up lots, Wini, Mag and Jiaren....Jiaren especially. 2 weeks before, I shared with him and Daune on how I used to not like him, and shared how the angel mortal game made me take initiative to talk to him and care for him...and i dunno if its my efforts plus others efforts, or just God and His miracles, that I see Jiaren opening up and willing to do more for God! Good improvement bro!
I can see their team is veered in the right direction. can really see that when they play their instruments or sing, they are really focused on God. they don't care how others see them, like David, and they sing/play with joy cause it is for our Almighty Father. thought of anyone? haha.......yar...Simin....haha....
anyway, this attributes to them playing better and better. Jiaren is so much better in drums now cause he listens to others and join in. Wini & Mag, so pro in piano and keyboard liaoz....can play anything liaoz....haha....Chang Bin playing more stuff on Bass Guitar...and I thought he was already playing alot! haha....and the 3 big sisters, dunneed to say lah....can see or rather, hear, for yourselves. really happy for them. God has really blessed them with lots of gifts, spiritually and physically. will continue to pray for them.
but ours....
I didnt dare to say that day, cause everyone seems to be in a good mood. and since im in isolation, i think i shouldnt say much. yes, can see people in our group improving. Edna is so, SO much better on drums now...just need to be more daring. Yae's and DZ's playing has improved lots on the piano and keyboard respectively. my bass, really thankful to God for Jia Jun.....
however...i really dunno if we are veered on the right direction. ok, u all may think i have no right to talk about others' focus when mine's even not right. i agree, yes, my focus isn't 100% on God, but im really trying very hard to go back to Him and focus 100% and more......and im not saying everyone in our team has a wrong focus...just that when we are together....i really dunno where our team is going.....
I think we seemed to be more focused on our playing and singing, how we are playing the notes and song....this really do apply to me. sometimes, ill get frustrated when i play wrongly, not even thinking that God might not even mind cause He sees your heart. but sometimes, i really forget, and then ill try to play better BY MYSELF....haha....
we seemed to be more focus technically too.....cannot hear this, cannot hear that. abit of weird noises or wrong notes and tempers flare up. like me, when i cannot hear my bass, ill get mad and sit down and just listen to it and not caring about anything else...then my black face may show....
we seem to be more concerned about the mixing, the flow, how the music turn out, how we all play and how the songs need to be played....
btw, im not referring to anyone specifically. im referring to the team as a whole. all this applies to me too, cause i let them affect me, and plus some personal problems in me, im affected more than anyone else, and i feel bad towards God....
He gave me to right to worship Him. He doesnt need me, He doesnt even need us at all. but He was willing to give me my voice and let me learn bass, so that i can worship Him, bless Him and thank Him. He doesnt need it but i do...we do. He knows it that is why He gave us the power to do so....
so i think the only other thing we can do to thank Him, is to focus on Him. no matter what we do, our whole life's has to be for Him. Im guilty. I admit my life isnt perfect and sometimes i dont live out Jesus in my life. thats why i need time to go back to God and focus on Him.
as for the team, maybe only i think the team's not focused cause im not. who knows, they are all focused. its just that seeing how things go during out practices, it does seem the way that we are not focused on God but more concerned about other stuff....
and then when the real worship comes, it still cocks up in certain areas even though we may have practised perfectly on friday. to me, it shows that EVERYTHING is not in our control. God controls all.....that is why after seeing so much, I think we are not really focusing on Him 100%.....
i feel i have to write it out....bottling up is no good....but fellow team members who read this, agreeing with me or disagreeing is all up to you. you may be angry with me or something, but im just speaking what i feel......as for me, im trying my hardest to focus on God 100%. so people, please pray for me in this area...thank you ~haiz~
shuo hao le
tong ku yi ren yi ban
zhuan shen ge zi jie shan
wo zuo bian jian bang shang de tian tang
zai bu shi ni xiang lai de di fangshuo hao le
tian mi yi ren yi ban
rang fen shou bu na me suan
wo bang ni zhuang shang yi shuang chi bang
que yong hui yi ba zi ji kun bang
wo bu shi ni que de na yi ban
ni que yong yuan shi wo lin yi ban
~niCe sOngS....gO bUy ocEaN's aLbUm noW!!! hAha....liKe hiS "jiN jI rEn" liKe tHat...~
the facts of life....
- 7/06/2004 09:06:00 PM
Saturday, July 03, 2004
phew....just got home...tired....from driving a taxi, dancing at a bar, bashing up people and stuff.....haha....
dont worry, i didnt join a gang or anything....just went arcade.....haha...play Crazy Taxi (i sucks at it), played Para Para 2 (i rocks at it) and played Bishi Bashi (worse than normal...puiii!)
actually, i went out with Kelvin and Russell today....after like almost 2 months of almost no contact...haha....coz i was ignoring them......
it was silly of them to ask Ian to but the tickets, who in the end bought three seats, one behind the other. it was silly of Russell to not arrange properly how to sit. it was silly of Kelvin to act cool and pretend nothing's wrong. it was silly of me to be frustrated and walk out of the theatre. it was silly of us to not say sorry at all to each other.....haha....
but life too short to get angry over your best friends. seriously, come to think of it...even though we have our squabbles, fights, disagreements, taking sides...etc, we have been through alot. when we need each other, we are there. in fun times, sad times, angry times, sorrowful times, hard times, stress times, relax times....etc. they are 2 of the very, VERY few people who has planted together with me along our friendship road. and till this day, we are still toiling hard for our friendship. though sometimes it has been stagnant or we slipped down the ladder, but we are still moving. really appreciate their frenship....
but looking at our three way frenship, i cant help but think about those bad ones.....but i told myself, over's OVER....so i wont think liaoz! yes!!!!! finally trying to let go....not so stress then....haha
anyway, for those who dunno, Russ and Kel are the best of my bestest frens. they are at the top of the list....haha....so gay horz? hahahaha.......no lah....just joking! other frens....dont get jealous kz? haha....oOps
anyway. first, we went to BK at....at...oops....forgot the name. but is the first place when u enter orchard....anyway, we drank and talked there. Russ told us about his current stuff.....Kel seems to have nothing....i talked the most as usual...haha....and i told them about whatever ive experienced.....they weren't shock...but they were very helpful...should have turned to them in the first place....Kel told me what happened between me and my other frens, and the decisions i make, i shouldnt let it affect my other frens...agree....and i will definitely maintain my current and very treasured frenships.
then i saw my sis, ernestina and some girl walk by....and come to BK!!!! i was so embarrassed. called my sis's hp and said "turn around", then she saw me and ernestina laughed till her face turned bright red!!! haha...
then we talked till 6 plus then move to the la mian and tim sum place at Scotts to eat la mian and siao long bao....damn delicious. there, we were crazy and took photos on my hp....haha....show off time....bwahahaha...
then we went to centrepoint to eat gelato!!!! damn nice! i ate Belgium Chocolate and Chocolate Mint. Russ ate Tiramisu. Kel ate Rum & Raisin and some Ferrero Rocher alike thingy....haha....keep eating and eating.
then Kel "pang se" us and went home while me and Russ walk all the way to PS, like we were playing Amazing Race liddat....but at the rate we were going, when it is the 3rd episode...we just finish first episode...haha....we made it like we were hosts doing a commentary and we (actually me) spoke SO loudly that an auntie turned around and stared at us.....must be thinking we were from IMH...haha
then we played arcade. Russ was totally ROCKING at Crazy Taxi...while I danced to Para Para and he laughed......then we played many others too...till like 1015 then we go for a drink AGAIN at MOS BURGER.....he bought Coffee Milkshake while i had Iced Milk Tea....then we left....
time spent with them is really meaningful, even if its all CRAP or just a whole day of doing nothing. being with frens really mean alot to me....hehe....well, ill definitely put in much, MUCH more for this frenship.
thanks Kel and Russ for ur love, trust, understanding, time, efforts and frenship. may God bless u...and cya all next week to celebrate Russ and my b'dae!!! haha....
as for the rest, put in efforts for ur beloved frenships but dont be like me, not cautious at all and get hurt! haha....take care all!!!!
hmmm...must definitely spend 30-60 mins just on God later.....signing off! :P
the facts of life....
- 7/03/2004 11:48:00 PM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
wow...2 days in a row, my ex teachers contacted me! very cool feeling u know? this brought back memories of my FAV teachers...hehe...
Primary school ive mentioned before. There was Ms Ang, my Chinese teacher of yr 5 to 6. But sort of knew her in P4 too due to some girls...Ms Nathan was my math teacher when I was P4...but we kept in contact even in P5 & 6 caused she helped out in drama and coninued to teach me math! Ms Daphne I knew all the way from P3 cause she was my drama teacher! totally cool!
then in Sec school, teachers that touched me completely and I were friends with were few. Of course, at the top of the list is Ms Richards (or should I say Mrs KhoOoOooO...haha) and Mrs Chern aka Tan Sia Hui. They are still the very VERY best even till this day. They were very good frens of me, Russell and Kelvin....always go out to eat.....like small boys jio female teachers liddat....haha....but they were very patient with us and had heart to heart talks with us too! Ms Richards always taught us well, and gave us jokes once in a while. Tan Sia Hui always go "ANGRY" then arms akimbo...haha, makes us laugh even more...
Then of cause there were Brother Michael, Ms Thor, Mrs Joyce Seah and Mr Jeremy Liew! The best among here is Jeremy Liew so i shall say abit about him.
J Liew is A slacker!!!! when i first saw him, i thought "aiyah...he wont teach well." but oh no...he was a DAMN good teacher! witty, slack, funny, slack, helpful, slack, jovial, SLACK....haha...its his slackness yet GREAT teachings that made us (as in me, Russ and Kel) bond with him. I actually got to know him better through Russ and Kel who were in Prefects.
Then JC got Mr Wee!!!!!!!! and both my geog teachers were cool....really cool...too bad I didnt do well in this subject, though Geog was my forte. Ms Jenny Loong was good too though she abit scary....i know she was ALWAYS disappointed with my test results coz i could do well in my class work....good thing I got a D....hope she was glad....
teachers make up a VERY important part of my life. they were part of moulding me and cruising me in different directions. Those that i were really attached to moulded more than others and i really adore them!!!!! they make me who I am today and im dang proud of it. Im proudest of the fact that i went to SJI!!!! it was the school that cultivated most of my good points.....thank you....
so to people out there who thinks teachers sucks....there are teachers you can really bond well with. even those that u think sucks, when u leave the school and look back, you will really thank them!!!
*yawns* gotta go slEep..........
the facts of life....
- 7/01/2004 07:36:00 PM
